That the Fuckin Shit Biscuits are Superior To The Rolling Stones is concluded upon examining the opportunity for diverse creative input and survival under adverse conditions. The arguments are based on the indisputable evidences of total membership and total deceased members.

CREATIVITY

Our hypotheses hinge on the following assertions; as 1 + 1 obviously equals 2 on the Earth and Moon it is equally reasonable to assert that two eyes are precisely twice as good as one. Therefore, a band with a 7:1 ratio of total members can be said to have an advantage of precisely seven times the creative opportunity.

Conservative accounting of total membership for both bands reveals the Fuckin' Shit Biscuits to have a minimum of 45 band members while the Rolling Stones have had seven real members. We exclude Tony Chapman, Ricky Fenson, Dick and Mick Taylor because their memberships are debatable.

If studying the ratios for total members isn't indicative enough then an examination of the ratios by instrument is a stark revelation into a bleak and startling void for creative opportunity. Imagine how unnerved Charlie Watts must feel when studying the Fuckin' Shit Biscuits with their advantage of seven kit drummers to his one. It ain't funny because Charlie, an average drummer, is a good guy that's been hung out to dry by the bands greedy European capitalist management machine.

While the Stones management was ostracizing Ian Stewart to the sidelines, to hide his ugly mug from adoring fans, they could have been working on building more opportunities for creativity. In concluding our examination of opportunity for creativity we assert with confidance that the Fuckin' Shit Biscuits are capable of seven times more creativity than the Rolling Stones.

LONGEVITY

It may appeal to common sense as an obsurdity for the members of any band to argue that they and not the Rolling Stones are built for longevity and it under adverse conditions. The Fuckin' Shit Biscuits are not any band. To establish a perspective we consider that the Rolling Stones were formed in 1961 and that the average age of a Rolling Stone is 64 years old.

While the Fuckin' Shit Biscuits, formed 20 years after the Rolling Stones, are not spring chickens their individual and average ages are to their advantage when compared with the RollingStones for whom it must be said are long-in-the-tooth at an average of 64 years old. Consider their ages; Mick Jagger 63, Keith Richards 63, Charlie Watts 65, Ron Wood 59 and Bill Wyman 70.

Because each surviving Rolling Stone is a critical component to the band the death of anyone of them will force the band to cease its existence. On the flip side of the coin if a Fuckin' Shit Biscuit dies it's not obvious that the surviving members would even be aware of the event.